"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." ~James 1:2-4
For the past ten months I have noticed sudden changes within my body. The first one which has been hard is hair loss. My hair has been falling out in large clumps. Many people who know me thought it was due to stress since I stress easily, and it has not been the easiest year for me. Well when you are 21 years old losing your hair lets say things become more stressful. Then I moved to Fresno, my body temp. would not become regular, I thought it was due to the miserable heat up here. I would be so hot, and then be so cold I was shaking. Then then the last thing my body became weak, to the point where I was so achy I could not walk to classes without taking a break. I would sleep all the time. My body finally crashed....
...So I went to the Doctors while I was home for Christmas break. After prayer they discovered
my thyroids are not producing the hormones that give my body energy. They have put me on medication I will be taking the rest of my life. They don't expect the medication to start working in full effects for about a year to two years. It takes the doctors awhile to figure out the amount of hormone my body is needing. For the next few years I will have to leave Fresno and go home for blood tests. This is a little stressful because my classes this semester are going to be demanding.
I am a person who likes to take things in my own hands, I like having control in my life. The past two years my control has been taken away from me. My family lost our home in the wildfire, so my life was changed, control slowly was taken from me. Then my life plans were taken from me this past summer, everything I had planned for life changed. I am still struggling as I start a new path for life. Then the control of my health was taken from me. This has been an on going trial, however, I was ignoring from my trial, until now. The Lord has been trying to take that control of my life, by placing trials so I would turn to Him, I do turn to the Lord, but not completely. I was thinking it is funny I do not give Him my life, it would be less stressful, and benefit me. After my thyroid problem I believe that I am ready to dedicate my life again this time giving my Heavenly Father control of my life, and guide me completely.
I used to read James and be confused how trials are a blessing, until the Lord blessed me with many trials one after another until I finally am willing to surrender. I love you Lord and I give my heart.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Christmas Break
"For by Grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of GOD" Ephesians 2:8
Faith, it is easy to say I am going to walk by faith, but so much harder to act on it. When the new year hits many look to the future for hope and a better year than the last. I am starting to learn that I need to look at the past year to see where I need to become more faithful.
2008 the beginning was all faith, my whole trust had to be on what school I should attend, the Lord was faithful to me by leading me to Fresno State. When the summer got rough, and my life changed in many ways I again was blessed by my parents who comforted me and also prepared me to go live on my own for the first time. I also Sara who made me a mix I still listen to all the time, and knew the situation I was going in to and knew just what to do to make me smile every day. Even when she was five hours away she still found ways to lift me up and destress me. Then I Zoe who checked up on me weekly to make sure Fresno was good but not too good where I would not want to come home. Then there are friends like Roxy, Cassie, and Lauren. Our lives are busy and stressful but those few minutes that we can talk I cherish forever. I love hearing their lovely voices over the phone. All of those people helped me get through a rough patch in my life.
Once in Fresno I met lovely people as well, although my faith started changing. Stress and a busy life got the best for me. This is where I look back on the year and say Yikes. School consumed my time, and slowly the Lord, friends, and family were not the focus. Honestly I want my priorities straight. By the end of the year I was frustarted, my life had always been planned out and all that changed, then the rebuilding of my parents house has been a struggle I was five hours aways and could not help them much, then personal health problems for me, and of course a hard semester had me down and hopeless. But honestly why, the Lord had been faithful up to the point I let him go.
Christmas break was a great few weeks for me to think and reflect. Although more weeks off of school would be amazing I am refreshed and ready to go back to Fresno. Although of course before I go to Fresno I will shed my tears saying good bye to all the people I love so much, then after that and I am in Fresno I will make. I had a semester to try out living on my own and managing time, this next semester my life is going to be handed back into the Lord's hands. My path will be lit by the Lord's light not my own.
Faith, it is easy to say I am going to walk by faith, but so much harder to act on it. When the new year hits many look to the future for hope and a better year than the last. I am starting to learn that I need to look at the past year to see where I need to become more faithful.
2008 the beginning was all faith, my whole trust had to be on what school I should attend, the Lord was faithful to me by leading me to Fresno State. When the summer got rough, and my life changed in many ways I again was blessed by my parents who comforted me and also prepared me to go live on my own for the first time. I also Sara who made me a mix I still listen to all the time, and knew the situation I was going in to and knew just what to do to make me smile every day. Even when she was five hours away she still found ways to lift me up and destress me. Then I Zoe who checked up on me weekly to make sure Fresno was good but not too good where I would not want to come home. Then there are friends like Roxy, Cassie, and Lauren. Our lives are busy and stressful but those few minutes that we can talk I cherish forever. I love hearing their lovely voices over the phone. All of those people helped me get through a rough patch in my life.
Once in Fresno I met lovely people as well, although my faith started changing. Stress and a busy life got the best for me. This is where I look back on the year and say Yikes. School consumed my time, and slowly the Lord, friends, and family were not the focus. Honestly I want my priorities straight. By the end of the year I was frustarted, my life had always been planned out and all that changed, then the rebuilding of my parents house has been a struggle I was five hours aways and could not help them much, then personal health problems for me, and of course a hard semester had me down and hopeless. But honestly why, the Lord had been faithful up to the point I let him go.
Christmas break was a great few weeks for me to think and reflect. Although more weeks off of school would be amazing I am refreshed and ready to go back to Fresno. Although of course before I go to Fresno I will shed my tears saying good bye to all the people I love so much, then after that and I am in Fresno I will make. I had a semester to try out living on my own and managing time, this next semester my life is going to be handed back into the Lord's hands. My path will be lit by the Lord's light not my own.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Psalm 18:2
"The Lord is my rock, and my safe place, and the One Who takes me out of trouble. My God is my rock, in Whom I am Safe. He is my safe-covering, my saving strength, and my strong tower."
The past month has been so crazy, late nights studying for tests until 4 in the morning. Writing papers that take me 3 days to write, and more reading than I have ever seen in my life. The pressures of classes have taken a toll on me. The Lord saw this and gave me just the strength I needed...
I just happen to have this past weekend off of work, and able to go back home Thursday night and stay till Sunday afternoon.
Just when I was drowning in stress I was able to come home to a family that loves me so much. They support me in every way, I felt refreshed just by their hugs. Then my stomach was relieved and had real homemade food again from my mom's dinners! I was able to see the house my parents are building, it finally looks like a home! This weekend I was so overwhelmed with love from my parents and my sister.
I also was blessed to see some dear friends of mine, didn't have enough time to see all of them, and still missing all of you I didn't get to see.
The most important thing I learned on this trip was God's peace, love, and strength. I had been gone from the mountain for 3 months, when I came back I got to see a beautiful autumn fall I took for granted before. I got to smell the fresh air. I got to see my lovely town of Green Valley Lake that I missed to much. The Lord created such a mighty mountain. He blessed me so many great relationships. I am back in Fresno now and able to take on the rest of the semester. I am still in shock of how the Lord can fill you up and give you a strength you never thought you had!
The past month has been so crazy, late nights studying for tests until 4 in the morning. Writing papers that take me 3 days to write, and more reading than I have ever seen in my life. The pressures of classes have taken a toll on me. The Lord saw this and gave me just the strength I needed...
I just happen to have this past weekend off of work, and able to go back home Thursday night and stay till Sunday afternoon.
Just when I was drowning in stress I was able to come home to a family that loves me so much. They support me in every way, I felt refreshed just by their hugs. Then my stomach was relieved and had real homemade food again from my mom's dinners! I was able to see the house my parents are building, it finally looks like a home! This weekend I was so overwhelmed with love from my parents and my sister.
I also was blessed to see some dear friends of mine, didn't have enough time to see all of them, and still missing all of you I didn't get to see.
The most important thing I learned on this trip was God's peace, love, and strength. I had been gone from the mountain for 3 months, when I came back I got to see a beautiful autumn fall I took for granted before. I got to smell the fresh air. I got to see my lovely town of Green Valley Lake that I missed to much. The Lord created such a mighty mountain. He blessed me so many great relationships. I am back in Fresno now and able to take on the rest of the semester. I am still in shock of how the Lord can fill you up and give you a strength you never thought you had!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Romans 5:3-4
"We are glad for our troubles also we know that troubles help us learn not to give up. When we have learned not to give up, it shows we have stood the test. When we have stood the test, it gives us HOPE."
So I have now been in Fresno for 2 months. The first few weeks were so hard, I guess you don't really see how much one does need family and friends until they are not there every day. I would give anything to have a hug and kiss from my parents. I would give anything to have one of my many debates with Amalia. I would love to have great coffee with great/amazing friends.
School was also hard adjusting to. I now know what it is like never going to bed before midnight. Sleep is something that I seem to get less and less of.
Please don't get me wrong, Fresno has been a huge blessing to me. It has helped me grow up. I mean after all so far I have been successful living completely on my own. I have learned who I am and I think Fresno has helped me see who I want to be and how people see me. Oh yeah and did I mention I love going to Fresno football games! We have not been too successful, which if you know me that is hard to see my team lose. I still love every second of every game, just the next few days I don't have a voice!
The most important thing I have learned is no matter what I do the Lord has to be my right hand man, when I have hit my lows He has picked me up and given me sudden blessings. I have a strength in myself that I did not have before.
I guess trials=hope
MISS ALL OF YOU BACK HOME!
So I have now been in Fresno for 2 months. The first few weeks were so hard, I guess you don't really see how much one does need family and friends until they are not there every day. I would give anything to have a hug and kiss from my parents. I would give anything to have one of my many debates with Amalia. I would love to have great coffee with great/amazing friends.
School was also hard adjusting to. I now know what it is like never going to bed before midnight. Sleep is something that I seem to get less and less of.
Please don't get me wrong, Fresno has been a huge blessing to me. It has helped me grow up. I mean after all so far I have been successful living completely on my own. I have learned who I am and I think Fresno has helped me see who I want to be and how people see me. Oh yeah and did I mention I love going to Fresno football games! We have not been too successful, which if you know me that is hard to see my team lose. I still love every second of every game, just the next few days I don't have a voice!
The most important thing I have learned is no matter what I do the Lord has to be my right hand man, when I have hit my lows He has picked me up and given me sudden blessings. I have a strength in myself that I did not have before.
I guess trials=hope
MISS ALL OF YOU BACK HOME!
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