Trials

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." ~James 1:2-4


For the past ten months I have noticed sudden changes within my body. The first one which has been hard is hair loss. My hair has been falling out in large clumps. Many people who know me thought it was due to stress since I stress easily, and it has not been the easiest year for me. Well when you are 21 years old losing your hair lets say things become more stressful. Then I moved to Fresno, my body temp. would not become regular, I thought it was due to the miserable heat up here. I would be so hot, and then be so cold I was shaking. Then then the last thing my body became weak, to the point where I was so achy I could not walk to classes without taking a break. I would sleep all the time. My body finally crashed....

...So I went to the Doctors while I was home for Christmas break. After prayer they discovered
my thyroids are not producing the hormones that give my body energy. They have put me on medication I will be taking the rest of my life. They don't expect the medication to start working in full effects for about a year to two years. It takes the doctors awhile to figure out the amount of hormone my body is needing. For the next few years I will have to leave Fresno and go home for blood tests. This is a little stressful because my classes this semester are going to be demanding.

I am a person who likes to take things in my own hands, I like having control in my life. The past two years my control has been taken away from me. My family lost our home in the wildfire, so my life was changed, control slowly was taken from me. Then my life plans were taken from me this past summer, everything I had planned for life changed. I am still struggling as I start a new path for life. Then the control of my health was taken from me. This has been an on going trial, however, I was ignoring from my trial, until now. The Lord has been trying to take that control of my life, by placing trials so I would turn to Him, I do turn to the Lord, but not completely. I was thinking it is funny I do not give Him my life, it would be less stressful, and benefit me. After my thyroid problem I believe that I am ready to dedicate my life again this time giving my Heavenly Father control of my life, and guide me completely.

I used to read James and be confused how trials are a blessing, until the Lord blessed me with many trials one after another until I finally am willing to surrender. I love you Lord and I give my heart.