"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." ~James 1:2-4
For the past ten months I have noticed sudden changes within my body. The first one which has been hard is hair loss. My hair has been falling out in large clumps. Many people who know me thought it was due to stress since I stress easily, and it has not been the easiest year for me. Well when you are 21 years old losing your hair lets say things become more stressful. Then I moved to Fresno, my body temp. would not become regular, I thought it was due to the miserable heat up here. I would be so hot, and then be so cold I was shaking. Then then the last thing my body became weak, to the point where I was so achy I could not walk to classes without taking a break. I would sleep all the time. My body finally crashed....
...So I went to the Doctors while I was home for Christmas break. After prayer they discovered
my thyroids are not producing the hormones that give my body energy. They have put me on medication I will be taking the rest of my life. They don't expect the medication to start working in full effects for about a year to two years. It takes the doctors awhile to figure out the amount of hormone my body is needing. For the next few years I will have to leave Fresno and go home for blood tests. This is a little stressful because my classes this semester are going to be demanding.
I am a person who likes to take things in my own hands, I like having control in my life. The past two years my control has been taken away from me. My family lost our home in the wildfire, so my life was changed, control slowly was taken from me. Then my life plans were taken from me this past summer, everything I had planned for life changed. I am still struggling as I start a new path for life. Then the control of my health was taken from me. This has been an on going trial, however, I was ignoring from my trial, until now. The Lord has been trying to take that control of my life, by placing trials so I would turn to Him, I do turn to the Lord, but not completely. I was thinking it is funny I do not give Him my life, it would be less stressful, and benefit me. After my thyroid problem I believe that I am ready to dedicate my life again this time giving my Heavenly Father control of my life, and guide me completely.
I used to read James and be confused how trials are a blessing, until the Lord blessed me with many trials one after another until I finally am willing to surrender. I love you Lord and I give my heart.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Christmas Break
"For by Grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of GOD" Ephesians 2:8
Faith, it is easy to say I am going to walk by faith, but so much harder to act on it. When the new year hits many look to the future for hope and a better year than the last. I am starting to learn that I need to look at the past year to see where I need to become more faithful.
2008 the beginning was all faith, my whole trust had to be on what school I should attend, the Lord was faithful to me by leading me to Fresno State. When the summer got rough, and my life changed in many ways I again was blessed by my parents who comforted me and also prepared me to go live on my own for the first time. I also Sara who made me a mix I still listen to all the time, and knew the situation I was going in to and knew just what to do to make me smile every day. Even when she was five hours away she still found ways to lift me up and destress me. Then I Zoe who checked up on me weekly to make sure Fresno was good but not too good where I would not want to come home. Then there are friends like Roxy, Cassie, and Lauren. Our lives are busy and stressful but those few minutes that we can talk I cherish forever. I love hearing their lovely voices over the phone. All of those people helped me get through a rough patch in my life.
Once in Fresno I met lovely people as well, although my faith started changing. Stress and a busy life got the best for me. This is where I look back on the year and say Yikes. School consumed my time, and slowly the Lord, friends, and family were not the focus. Honestly I want my priorities straight. By the end of the year I was frustarted, my life had always been planned out and all that changed, then the rebuilding of my parents house has been a struggle I was five hours aways and could not help them much, then personal health problems for me, and of course a hard semester had me down and hopeless. But honestly why, the Lord had been faithful up to the point I let him go.
Christmas break was a great few weeks for me to think and reflect. Although more weeks off of school would be amazing I am refreshed and ready to go back to Fresno. Although of course before I go to Fresno I will shed my tears saying good bye to all the people I love so much, then after that and I am in Fresno I will make. I had a semester to try out living on my own and managing time, this next semester my life is going to be handed back into the Lord's hands. My path will be lit by the Lord's light not my own.
Faith, it is easy to say I am going to walk by faith, but so much harder to act on it. When the new year hits many look to the future for hope and a better year than the last. I am starting to learn that I need to look at the past year to see where I need to become more faithful.
2008 the beginning was all faith, my whole trust had to be on what school I should attend, the Lord was faithful to me by leading me to Fresno State. When the summer got rough, and my life changed in many ways I again was blessed by my parents who comforted me and also prepared me to go live on my own for the first time. I also Sara who made me a mix I still listen to all the time, and knew the situation I was going in to and knew just what to do to make me smile every day. Even when she was five hours away she still found ways to lift me up and destress me. Then I Zoe who checked up on me weekly to make sure Fresno was good but not too good where I would not want to come home. Then there are friends like Roxy, Cassie, and Lauren. Our lives are busy and stressful but those few minutes that we can talk I cherish forever. I love hearing their lovely voices over the phone. All of those people helped me get through a rough patch in my life.
Once in Fresno I met lovely people as well, although my faith started changing. Stress and a busy life got the best for me. This is where I look back on the year and say Yikes. School consumed my time, and slowly the Lord, friends, and family were not the focus. Honestly I want my priorities straight. By the end of the year I was frustarted, my life had always been planned out and all that changed, then the rebuilding of my parents house has been a struggle I was five hours aways and could not help them much, then personal health problems for me, and of course a hard semester had me down and hopeless. But honestly why, the Lord had been faithful up to the point I let him go.
Christmas break was a great few weeks for me to think and reflect. Although more weeks off of school would be amazing I am refreshed and ready to go back to Fresno. Although of course before I go to Fresno I will shed my tears saying good bye to all the people I love so much, then after that and I am in Fresno I will make. I had a semester to try out living on my own and managing time, this next semester my life is going to be handed back into the Lord's hands. My path will be lit by the Lord's light not my own.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)